“Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no.” - Gabriel Garcí¬a Márquez, Love in the Time of CholeraThis may, or may not teach anyone life lesson of some sort but I chose this quote because it really fits my situation now. I’m not sure if you have read it here before but I am sure I have mentioned once or twice that I am getting married and that happened just three days ago.
The quote describes exactly how I feel during our courtship stage. When I agreed to be his girlfriend, I had mixed emotions. My heart was filled with happiness and love at the same I was a bit doubtful about him and how our relationship will turn out. But perhaps what I see in him and my willingness to give him a chance to share his life with me emboldened me to give this relationship a go.
Four years after, I said “YES” to him again complete with documents and ring. LOL!
I may be doubtful during the courtship and early stages of our relationship but I am glad and thankful now that I said yes to him when I did. It is one of the decisions I never regret making and I thank the Lord for that decision.
My point is, even if you are doubtful, and even if things will not work out the way you want it to, there is always something you can do about it. Example, if there is something in him that you are not too happy about, you can raise the issue to him and determine what needs to be done to come up into a win-win situation. Don’t just think about yourself! You need to consider your partner as well. Determine the reason for that particular characteristic and if that particular characteristic is more important than your relationship. If it is something that will not affect your relationship big time, you can shrug it off and go on with your lives. After all, love is not just glorifying one’s potential; it is also about accepting one’s fault and weakness.
However, if you find the issue irreparable and fixing it seems like doing more harm than good, then you need to be courageous and face something you are dreading. Love teaches us to be strong and sharpens our minds to make wise decisions even if it means hurting ourselves during the process! It’s not just “since he is my first love I need to stick with him” or “I do not want to waste the n years we spent together”. That’s BS! You have to learn to let go when you need to.
Had I say “no” to him I am not sure if I will be in this state of emotion I am in right now. I am not sure if it will be the same with someone else. Of course, I don’t dismiss the fact that there might be someone better than him, or someone who can give me better life than he can but that still remains to be seen. It’s not like I was desperate to be in a relationship or I settled for someone who was available at the time but come on… there’s this man - responsible, family-oriented, loving, talented and knows how to have fun. What more should I ask for? He may not have face or body like a celebrity nor have “pricey” possessions under his name but what he is and what he has are priceless enough for me and I am thankful that he is mine.
Love is not just staring into each other’s eyes, writing poetry, exchanging gifts and remembering all the monthsaries and what not. Love is contentment, acceptance and opportunity grabbed right when it presented itself.
No comments